


Antidote

by Mareel



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related, Episode: s03e07 The Shipment, Established Relationship, M/M, Trust, Xindi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choosing to trust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Antidote

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place the night after the events of _The Shipment_ and refers to Jonathan's conversations with Gralik (the Xindi manager of a kemosite production plant) in that episode. It also makes reference to events in _The Expanse_. It is Malcolm's point of view. He and Jonathan have an established relationship. Written for the prompt 'poison.'

 

I knew I’d find him here. When Jonathan can’t sleep, if he isn’t buried in the Xindi database, he’s in the darkened Observation Lounge in the company of the silent stars. At first I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome to disturb his vigils, but he told me he’d only been trying to let me get some sleep even when he couldn’t… he didn’t want to disturb _me_. 

Locking the door behind me, I join him at the viewport, knowing he might or might not want to talk. There is a welcome in his eyes tonight; maybe he will unburden himself to me. He does reach out to touch my shoulder. 

“Malcolm… I’m sorry you’re not sleeping either.” He pauses for long enough that I begin to wonder if perhaps he’s not ready to say any more. But then he takes a breath and turns to face me. “I keep thinking about my conversations with Gralik yesterday. It’s too easy to forget why we’re out here. Not just here in the Expanse, but traveling among the stars at all. He reminded of that today, telling me all Xindi are not my enemy.”

Jonathan hadn’t spoken much about his last conversation with the Xindi plant manager. After Degra and Dolim left, we were occupied with trying to track the ship we’d tagged. It seems he and Gralik came to more of an understanding than I expected. He continues, almost as if he would be saying these things to himself if I weren’t here.

“And they aren’t. Under other circumstances, contact with these people would be a first contact of the kind we launched the Warp 5 program to foster – a multi-species culture with a rich and turbulent history.” 

He turns back to the stars, but not before taking my hand. “I need to thank you, Malcolm. When we spoke outside Gralik’s house, you made me think hard about who we are and what we’re out here to do. It would have been so easy to destroy that facility and the kemosite, and leave no one behind to speak of it.”

I remember the conversation vividly. In one way I was simply doing my job, providing information on the strategic situation and our options. But even at the time, it felt like I was his devil’s advocate, holding a mirror to his thoughts. I also remember being glad that I could be that sounding board for him, that he trusted me with his thoughts. I try to do the same now. 

“You weren’t sure if you could trust him… or that he could trust you. But somehow you both found a way to do that. Honestly, it wasn’t exactly the outcome I expected.” I owe him candor here, so I continue. “Not everyone agrees with the decision, you know.”

His hand tightens on mine for a moment and he nods his agreement. “Trip doesn’t, for one. He let me know that right away. But he and I are starting to look at this mission a little differently.” Jonathan looks suddenly weary and sinks down onto one of the couches facing the viewport, drawing me down beside him.

“Our first night out from Earth on this mission, I had a few drinks with Trip. He wanted to know if we’d be pussyfooting around when we found the Xindi. I told him we’d do whatever it takes to protect Earth. I still believe that we will.” He lapses into a long silence, but in the time I’ve served with him and especially in the time since we’ve been together, I’ve learned patience. “I just don’t think this mission is about revenge anymore, if I ever really believed it was. Revenge is a slow poison, Malcolm. Its damage increases over time.” 

This time I take his hand and hold it tightly. 

“Today was a kick-in-the-ass reminder of that, and I needed it. If all Xindi are not our enemy, then we shouldn’t be theirs. We’ll find a way to do this without genocide… there has to be a way.”

His mood shifts, almost a visible thing. He kisses me gently and stands to go, offering me a hand up. “Let’s try to get some rest. Nothing about this mission is ever going to be easy – we should sleep when we can.”

I couldn’t agree more. Despite my by-the-book reputation, I’m grateful that the man in charge of this mission is someone who would dare to trust a stranger who could well have been our enemy. And one who recognizes the truth about revenge. 

Tonight Jonathan falls asleep before I do, at peace for the moment in my arms.

 


End file.
